Help! Youth Don't Deserve a Violent Valentine's Day!

Teen dating violence is showing itself throughout the nation. As with adults, dating violence occurs in 3 general forms, often with overlap: physical, sexual, emotional abuse. Teens experience dating violence just as adults do, and it usually happens more than once. Teens are not as likely to report dating violence. Teen violence happens and gets hidden for many of the same reasons: misconceptions and pressures stemming from cultural expectations, peer pressure, general immaturity and lack of experience, as well as over-exposure to media glamorizing violent, unsafe, unhealthy love. The most often cited risk factor for youth is their own sense of self and their beliefs in “romance.” According to the Bureau of Justice report, 40 percent of high school age girls have been physically abused or know a girl who has been physically abused by her boyfriend. Thirty-eight percent of all Date Rape Victims were of high school age, aged 14-17. The Alabama Coalition Against Domestic Violence offers a thoughtful and socially responsive set of materials describing teen dating violence, signs of potential abusive behavior, and symptoms of victimization as well as safety tips and safety plans. They have even created the Dating Bill of Rights. Youth need information and strategies for safe dating. Adults need to communicate and provide examples of safe and healthy dating. Adults need to reinforce youth’s positive choices and decisions for building their self-esteem and self-concept.

Valentine’s Day is a day of romantic notions and ideals that lead to risky behavior. Talk to the youth in your world today, and every day describe what you do and do not accept on dates or within intimate relationships. Give them the guidance and confidence for staying true to themselves, today and every day. Help make Valentine’s Day a happy day for the teens in your life, school and community. Raise the issue, raise their confidence, and do them justice! Although this may be a difficult topic for some, there are plenty of resources to help you and youth.

• Teen Dating Violence?
• School-based Approaches and supporting materials addressing sexual violence
• Dating Bill Of Rights

Page Updated: February 14, 2005